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laurafluteFor Yanks, because I said I would.
***
Leia struggled to make sense of that particular line of the Jedi Code. Attachment was a natural part of life. Surely out of the billions of interactions had throughout a lifetime even Master Yoda formed some measure of attachment to certain individuals. Beings had likes and dislikes. How could there be no attachment? Luke’s explanation made sense but sounded too easy. Jedi were expected to answer to a sense of duty. Compassion, understanding, empathy for fellow beings were encouraged – all servants of a higher calling, a love of justice and peace throughout the galaxy. It was a love she understood from years of diplomatic training and public service. Her upbringing was designed for the day she joined the Jedi Order. She had little doubt that was the plan General Kenobi, Master Yoda, and Bail Organa had in mind.
None of them planned on her falling in love. Least of all herself.
***
"All children born in Old Republic territory had their midichlorian count tested shortly after birth," Luke explained, his eyes intense with excitement. Leia listened intently seated behind her desk, eating her lunch hurriedly while he talked. This was supposed to be a casual meeting for Luke to share what he had learned from the remnants of the Jedi archives and memories of people who lived under the Old Republic. Unfortunately it had to double as her lunch hour. "Parents could choose not to send their children to the Jedi Temple, of course, although the vast majority did."
Leia swallowed a mouthful of her sandwich, whatever it was. She wasn’t entirely sure. "Did you find out if there was a stigma attached to the parents who didn’t?" Common sense said society might pressure people to send eligible children to the Temple, even if the Jedi didn’t.
Luke shook his head, the hood of his Jedi robe imperceptibly moving about his face. "Not as a rule. The test results were released only to the parents. Unless they themselves discussed the results, no one knew one way or the other until the child was sent to the Temple and they were suddenly gone. There was some pressure among the lower classes, a way for a better life and all, but that’s to be expected." He sat back in his chair, positioned directly across from Leia. "The idea was to prevent the children from bonding with their parents."
"What?" Leia had lost interest in her sandwich long ago, but now her appetite was gone. She tossed what remained in the trash. "They wanted to prevent bonding?"
"Yoda told me attachment is forbidden to the Jedi. They must lead a life of constant reflection, focusing inward, listening for the will of the Force. Once a bond is formed, especially one strong as parent-child, it becomes all but impossible for a Youngling -- that’s what they called the children before they became Padawans -- to focus on their training. The only way the Jedi could become completely objective was to start life that way."
"But you weren’t raised that way. You had an aunt and uncle who loved you. You have friends who care about you -- a sister who loves you." Leia reached across and took his hand in hers, "You’ve proven that part of the Code doesn’t have to be."
Luke squeezed her hand, "I know you see it that way, Leia, and I wish you were right. But those were dark times. You and I were the only hope for the galaxy. And my confrontations with Vader only reinforce my agreement with the Code. My attachment to you, to Han, to the belief Anakin was still alive somewhere in Vader, it almost cost me everything."
Leia withdrew her hand from his. She didn’t like where this was going. "So if I decide to train as a Jedi..." she couldn’t finish.
"I’m sorry, Leia. There’s no room for romantic love in a Jedi’s life. Anakin Skywalker was living proof of that. It was his love of our mother that was his undoing." Luke tucked his arms into the sleeves of his Jedi robes. His face became heavy, almost aged, "I can’t and won’t rewrite the Code, Leia. It’s based on millennia of Jedi knowledge."
Leia shook her head, "But Luke, maybe the rules were wrong. Maybe if Jedi had been allowed to love and marry, Vader--"
"Anakin," he corrected.
Leia gritted her teeth. She hated it when he did that. He knew the man and the machine were one and the same in her mind. "Anakin, whoever he was, wouldn’t have fallen. Maybe we would’ve been raised together by parents who loved us and cared for us. Have you ever considered your precious Code denied us what was rightfully ours?" She felt the anger rising inside of her at every person, every ideal that interrupted her life. Belatedly she tried to quell it. "How do you know you even have the right document? So much of the Jedi knowledge was lost. How do you know this isn’t a forgery?"
Luke stared calmly as if he could see right through her. It unnerved her when she did that. "None of this is easy for me either. All I have is the knowledge that the will of the Force successfully guided our paths this far. And as for the Code, I know for a fact it’s authentic."
"But how do you know? No one’s left to authenticate it."
"Trust me, Leia. I have all the authentication I need."
Leia turned and gazed out her office window. Her old office during her Senate terms under the Empire, before the resurrection of the Republic. Before she discovered the secrets about her family. "It isn’t that I don’t want to become a Jedi. Maybe if Kenobi survived this would already have been decided a long time ago. Maybe I would’ve trained with you on Dagobah. But everything is different now."
Luke stood to leave. "Leia, I want you to be happy, whatever path that is. But the fact remains if you choose to become a Jedi, you have to give up all attachments. All attachments."
"You mean I have to give up Han."
The air hung between them, laden with the answer Luke would not give her. "Only you can choose your destiny."
A Jedi shall not know anger...
Nor hatred...
Nor love...
***
Leia struggled to make sense of that particular line of the Jedi Code. Attachment was a natural part of life. Surely out of the billions of interactions had throughout a lifetime even Master Yoda formed some measure of attachment to certain individuals. Beings had likes and dislikes. How could there be no attachment? Luke’s explanation made sense but sounded too easy. Jedi were expected to answer to a sense of duty. Compassion, understanding, empathy for fellow beings were encouraged – all servants of a higher calling, a love of justice and peace throughout the galaxy. It was a love she understood from years of diplomatic training and public service. Her upbringing was designed for the day she joined the Jedi Order. She had little doubt that was the plan General Kenobi, Master Yoda, and Bail Organa had in mind.
None of them planned on her falling in love. Least of all herself.
***
"All children born in Old Republic territory had their midichlorian count tested shortly after birth," Luke explained, his eyes intense with excitement. Leia listened intently seated behind her desk, eating her lunch hurriedly while he talked. This was supposed to be a casual meeting for Luke to share what he had learned from the remnants of the Jedi archives and memories of people who lived under the Old Republic. Unfortunately it had to double as her lunch hour. "Parents could choose not to send their children to the Jedi Temple, of course, although the vast majority did."
Leia swallowed a mouthful of her sandwich, whatever it was. She wasn’t entirely sure. "Did you find out if there was a stigma attached to the parents who didn’t?" Common sense said society might pressure people to send eligible children to the Temple, even if the Jedi didn’t.
Luke shook his head, the hood of his Jedi robe imperceptibly moving about his face. "Not as a rule. The test results were released only to the parents. Unless they themselves discussed the results, no one knew one way or the other until the child was sent to the Temple and they were suddenly gone. There was some pressure among the lower classes, a way for a better life and all, but that’s to be expected." He sat back in his chair, positioned directly across from Leia. "The idea was to prevent the children from bonding with their parents."
"What?" Leia had lost interest in her sandwich long ago, but now her appetite was gone. She tossed what remained in the trash. "They wanted to prevent bonding?"
"Yoda told me attachment is forbidden to the Jedi. They must lead a life of constant reflection, focusing inward, listening for the will of the Force. Once a bond is formed, especially one strong as parent-child, it becomes all but impossible for a Youngling -- that’s what they called the children before they became Padawans -- to focus on their training. The only way the Jedi could become completely objective was to start life that way."
"But you weren’t raised that way. You had an aunt and uncle who loved you. You have friends who care about you -- a sister who loves you." Leia reached across and took his hand in hers, "You’ve proven that part of the Code doesn’t have to be."
Luke squeezed her hand, "I know you see it that way, Leia, and I wish you were right. But those were dark times. You and I were the only hope for the galaxy. And my confrontations with Vader only reinforce my agreement with the Code. My attachment to you, to Han, to the belief Anakin was still alive somewhere in Vader, it almost cost me everything."
Leia withdrew her hand from his. She didn’t like where this was going. "So if I decide to train as a Jedi..." she couldn’t finish.
"I’m sorry, Leia. There’s no room for romantic love in a Jedi’s life. Anakin Skywalker was living proof of that. It was his love of our mother that was his undoing." Luke tucked his arms into the sleeves of his Jedi robes. His face became heavy, almost aged, "I can’t and won’t rewrite the Code, Leia. It’s based on millennia of Jedi knowledge."
Leia shook her head, "But Luke, maybe the rules were wrong. Maybe if Jedi had been allowed to love and marry, Vader--"
"Anakin," he corrected.
Leia gritted her teeth. She hated it when he did that. He knew the man and the machine were one and the same in her mind. "Anakin, whoever he was, wouldn’t have fallen. Maybe we would’ve been raised together by parents who loved us and cared for us. Have you ever considered your precious Code denied us what was rightfully ours?" She felt the anger rising inside of her at every person, every ideal that interrupted her life. Belatedly she tried to quell it. "How do you know you even have the right document? So much of the Jedi knowledge was lost. How do you know this isn’t a forgery?"
Luke stared calmly as if he could see right through her. It unnerved her when she did that. "None of this is easy for me either. All I have is the knowledge that the will of the Force successfully guided our paths this far. And as for the Code, I know for a fact it’s authentic."
"But how do you know? No one’s left to authenticate it."
"Trust me, Leia. I have all the authentication I need."
Leia turned and gazed out her office window. Her old office during her Senate terms under the Empire, before the resurrection of the Republic. Before she discovered the secrets about her family. "It isn’t that I don’t want to become a Jedi. Maybe if Kenobi survived this would already have been decided a long time ago. Maybe I would’ve trained with you on Dagobah. But everything is different now."
Luke stood to leave. "Leia, I want you to be happy, whatever path that is. But the fact remains if you choose to become a Jedi, you have to give up all attachments. All attachments."
"You mean I have to give up Han."
The air hung between them, laden with the answer Luke would not give her. "Only you can choose your destiny."
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no subject
Date: 2005-07-31 11:11 pm (UTC)