I do not want to go to work

[lauraflute]

I do not want all the hugging and "let me know if we can do anything"s. I never know what people mean by that. "I'm here if you want to talk" is fine. But the former is so open ended I never know how far is too far.

I do not want any of the regulars who haven't been in yet to ask me how the baby's doing. I know someone will, and of course they can't help it, but I don't want to face the prospect of running away in tears from the question.

I do not want my managers constantly hover over me asking if I'm okay. If they really had that much concern they would've cared more when I told them I was having complications. (Okay, some of them did, but some of them gave off a "great, they get pregnant and all they can think about is getting out of work" vibe. Trust me, if I thought for more than a horrible, guilty minute at a time just five more minutes off my feet at any point would have saved my baby, I would've done it with or without management approval.

And to top everything off, I think I'm coming down with bronchitis.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

You can't think like that. It was nothing you did and you can't blame yourself. If you start, there will be no end to the guilt and there is no need. Sometimes things happen and there is nothing that could have been done, even though we tend to think otherwise. And, as far as the "anything I can do for you" comment, for some people, it's just what they think you should say to someone, so they do. But, when it comes from other people, it means just that. ANYTHING. We are there for you through every thing you are going through and will help in any way. If your house is dirty and you don't want to get out of bed to clean it, we will. If you need dinner but have no food and don't want to cook, we'll bring you take out. If you need to cry uncontrollably and don't want any one to know, we will hide you from every one. It is open ended when it comes from the people who love you because nothing you may need is asking too much of us.

[manicwriter1271.livejournal.com]

*BIG HUGS*

I know when my sister miscarried, it was really hard that her entire church had known she was pregnant. She said she was tired of hearing how sorry everyone was.

Hang in there--I'm thinking about you.

[betsy-bassoon.livejournal.com]

UGH on the bronchitis. I just got over bronchitis and strep... then developed oral thrush (a yeast infection in the mouth... yummy) from the antibiotics. On top of that, I was taking care of Skittles here in Knoxville and she got out. Haven't seen her since. I know you're sick of hearing people say they're sorry... but *I* haven't said it yet. :-P Laura, I hope each day gets a little easier and that the hard times pass bit by bit. And even though we've lost touch over the years, I'm still here, and I do still care about you. Take care. You and Joe are in my prayers.